Can You Help a Loved One Who Doesn’t Want to Help Themselves?
Logically I’m aware that we can’t help others unless they are willing and motivated to help themselves, sure. I think most of us understand that concept. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The reality is no matter who you are or what your situation is, your life is going to be a struggle at times. Some struggle more than others and in different ways, but in the end, we all struggle.
“In order to lessen the burden, it’s important we do the work to unpack the trauma from our past.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Obviously this is PAINFUL, but it’s the most important work you can do if you want to live a healthy and happy life.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It's the true reason human beings need each other -- because without one another to rely on from time to time, most of us wouldn’t make it. Arguably, none of us would. The problem is understanding what will help and what won’t. And when to walk away.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Damn, it’s tough. I know.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“What I’ve learned is there needs to be a limit. There needs to be firm boundaries set into place because more often than not, a helping hand can easily turn into a crutch. While crutches are sometimes necessary, relying on them for too long weakens the other person and leaves them codependent and reliant on you to survive.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When we find ourselves in tough situations, we take whatever help we can get. The problem is we often take more than we should, but that’s human nature.
So just be weary; if you’re the one helping your loved one, you need to make sure you help them in a way that actually helps them, not hurts them.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Being supportive is helping someone help themselves -- being someone’s crutch is helping them as if they couldn’t help themselves- there’s a difference. People will never change the way they're living unless they feel like they absolutely have to. Real change occurs when theres a shift in perspective in the way we see the world, ourselves, and our future.
Therefore the only way to help others is by helping them understand how they can best get out of their situation and stay out of their situation for good.
